|Like a salty jacuzzi.|
I thought I should write about something that has been on my mind:
Now, my current problem is intellectualising this natural 'stewing' process by deliberately trying to squeeze ideas that may not belong in them to counteract subconscious biases. I have become aware of many racial, gender, sexual, and class-related issues these past few years (for example, I have begn to try to consider the complex nature of the relationship between Queen Isabel and her lady-in-waiting, whom is a goose girl from the lower classes. How does this disparity in experience affect their friendship?) After becoming aware of all these differences, and of even my own privileges, I have a fear that any unchecked biases and stereotypes that I may still have will creep inside these projects and degrade their intended quality. And by constantly trying to question all of my motives for character and plot changes, I have lost a sense of precious spontaneity, and ultimately stifled what inspiration can bestow. It's less fun to work on these projects, I suppose.
I'm guessing that this deliberate thinking that I've adopted too will change. I mean, I went from not thinking at all about my work to being overly sensitive to it.
I'm sure I will eventually hit a balance, because even though I do want to become a smarter critic of our world and its history, I need those creative juices to make it work.
Back to that pot of stew I go.